Do you remember that old commercial? I believe it was an advertisement for the Vachon Flakie pastry. Cue the frazzled woman who needs a break from her stressful day and bites into a cream puff.
But what does a cool 50+ woman do these days when your day is going sideways? This past Thursday, my day went sideways, (well maybe more like upside down), here is what happened.
Do not touch the unmute button, for heaven’s sake!
I had a migraine. It wasn’t the first time and probably not the last. Recurring issues with tendonitis in my right shoulder, and my stubborn refusal to seek help until the pain and discomfort are unbearable have brought me to this place. Working in front of a computer screen all day, typing and using a mouse, are contributing factors I am told. And then this happened.
While on, yet another zoom call for work, my head pounding, the moderator asked for comments. The subject matter was important, and one that I know nothing about. At all. The moderator and 47 other people witnessed me unmuting myself and starting to talk. I could see my lips moving in my zoom image, fuzzy curly unruly hair trying to escape my headset, and wearing a big smile.
“Oh no, what in the world am I doing right now?” “Is that really me talking?”.
That IS me talking.
And the horror of it all was, I KEPT talking. All the while having a simultaneous conversation in my head, asking myself WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
This is no time to be that girl on the right!
Oh my gosh. What is happening to me? I can see the faces of the others in my group and imagining their thoughts “That woman is desperately confused and clearly not of a sound mind”. “And what is with that hair?”
Fortunately for me (and everyone else on the zoom call) I had to leave early for an appointment which was to be followed by a massage treatment at physio for the aforesaid shoulder issue. Somehow sanity prevailed momentarily and I stopped talking and hit the mute button again.
On the way out of town, my head hurt so badly, I thought I might have to pull over and be sick to my stomach.
Time to pull over and chill
Arriving 15 minutes early I pulled into a parking lot facing Lake St. Clair. I opened my moonroof, and my driver’s side window and drank in this view, along with a few big gulps of fresh air. Ahhhhhhh…….pardon me while I exhale stress and inhale calm. In my readings on mindfulness one is supposed to take a metaphysical view ~ awareness or consciousness is primary.
It is not apathetic to just sit still and relax
Instinctively, when I finally made it home. I just sat there. In silence. Mr. Bill was not home. I’m not sure how long I sat there in silence. I did not feel compelled to look at the clock, clean the cat litter, check for mail, check my ipad for recipes, or do any of the other busy things that I typically do at the end of a work day.
I do know, that slowly I began to feel better. My angst and anxiety were slipping away, my headache was passing and my head began to feel clearer. I thought back to my unmuting episode with amusement rather than embarrassment.
What I didn’t know then but have since read, is that taking the time to settle and focus before engaging in an activity is very beneficial. Fortunately, for me, this was instinctive.
Here is what else I found. How can I practice being still?
Stillness of the Mind
- Be fully present. Much of our daily thoughts are consumed with what was and what is to come.
- Empty your mind of preconceptions.
- Take your time.
- Sit quietly and reflect.
- Reject distraction.
- Weigh advice against the counsel of your convictions.
- Deliberate without being paralyzed.
Recognizing that I needed to pull over and just be still was a good first step.
Of course, giving myself permission to hang upside down from the bar, or in this case unmute myself during a zoom call, is perfectly fine too. Sometimes you just have to own these moments.
Now to go find a box of those Vachon flakies!
~ Be Bold, Be Authentically you!
Donna
